I tried to explain, that I wanted to examine my cardiac arrest, both from my point of view and then from the five people close to me, who drew the short straw and had to watch the events unfold. My brother and his wife saved my life so saw everything. My eldest son (now 35) and partner along with my youngest son (now 30) saw the vast majority. I have asked them all, if they feel able to, to write an account starting with their arrival upon the scene, ending where they wish it to. This has been incredibly difficult emotionally for me. I think that the openness displayed by my son in writing what I am going to publish now (exactly as he supplied it) shows how an event that I was oblivious to, still affected those close to me. Without further ado, I present Jonathan's story
Jonthans story
Don’t let this be a burden, it’s just my version of events.
I was at work, and it was around lunch time, my uncle Andrew called me (odd in itself) but I didn’t answer due to the fact I was at work. He called again… ‘this is really odd’ I thought, I spoke with him briefly and he advised that my dad was in a bad way, and that I needed to get home (no detail given at this point, I assumed a fall or something). I spoke with my manager and proceeded to get back home as quickly as possible. Approaching the turn-in for my dad’s street, I pressed the brake pedal of my car to slow down, and they really weren’t doing much as I had cooked them in my haste to get there from work.
I pull into the street and there’s an ambulance where I would usually park, so I parked on a neighbours drive and block their cars in. As I get out of the car both Andrew and Val are outside and clearly a bit shell shocked, I was given a few words of warning (of which I can’t remember but I am pretty sure there was no detail still) but my priority was to get inside.
As I get in there looking from the doorway round to the kitchen; Emma is stood near the doorway looking shaken, mum is like a ghost in her chair and Moira, mum and dads cleaner doing her best to support mum and then there’s my dad on the floor… a strange colour, lips blue, lifeless, his whole body moving as the Paramedic is doing chest compressions, some kind of vomit or phlegm on his face from whatever the Paramedics had done. There was 2 female Paramedics and 1 male Emergency Doctor. To my right, Daniel is stood, clearly shook and in tears. I had no idea what to do at this point in time, I was frozen on the spot for what seemed an eternity. I knew what was going on around me, but I couldn’t move as I was unable to take my eyes off what was going on, clutching on to any hope that my dad was somehow going to be ok. I text Anna at work saying ‘my dad is dead’ which was tough.
It seemed less and less likely of dad pulling through as the paramedics went through a few cycles of CPR, adrenaline shots coupled with the defibrillator. At this point I had hold of mums hand, and the Emergency Doctor had instructed that they keep persevering as there had been a glint of hope. All of a sudden they were up and one of them getting a trolley from the ambulance, go go go was how it seemed. I carried some of their equipment to the ambulance and jumped in the front seat whilst they loaded dad on board. The sirens were on and we set off, the emergency doctor drove ahead and cleared junctions etc where possible. The journey was a blur but I remember the paramedic asking if I was ok, and I just thanked her. We got to the hospital arriving at the emergency ward, I walked with the paramedics to the team waiting and was told to sit in a waiting room.
I was sat in there for again, seemed like an eternity, I think this is when a bit of shock set in…Eventually to be joined by Anna, mum and Daniel, then slightly later, Andrew and Val. I don’t know how long we were sat there but at some point we were allowed to see dad, fully on life support and generally in a very bad way. We were told he was either going or had been to another hospital in the area to have emergency surgery… stents being fitted. But they didn’t know what damage had been done.
I don’t remember much detail after that… I can remember visiting a couple of times (as often as we were allowed)… taking calls from my dads clients and having to explain he was in hospital. On one visit it was mum Anna and I, dad in a coma, and we were talking nonsense as usual, dad was making involuntary movements through out the duration pulling tubes and other equipment… being his normal stubborn self, and when we got up to leave Anna joked of going to go home and sit in dads new chair and he tried getting out of the bed as if to leave with us. Daniel then visited as he was unable to attend the previous visit and dad was awake… just hours after we had been there and he was in a coma.
Selfishly, I was thinking ‘what if he’s alive but has lost mental capacity etc. through loss of oxygen… does this mean I am going to have to quit working and be a carer for both of my parents?’
After this point is a bit of a blur, until you arrived at another hospital and a slow recovery ensued. It was clear dad was there but not in the same capacity as previously…. Repeating things over and over and having no short term memory at all. Still capable of telling the same offensive joke over and over to a nurse despite being asked to stop. Some things will never change. From there on is a slow recovery process up until we arrive at where we are today, dad is ok with no long term physical issues.
Has it affected me, yes undoubtedly.
Is it something I think of everyday, yes.
Unfortunately Whenever I think about this whole saga I still think of dads body on the floor.
It’s an experience I wouldn’t ever want to repeat, but if there’s a lesson to be learnt it’s that basic first aid can save lives…. Or at least get you to a hospital.
Thank you son. There maybe more to follow, if you want to read.
